What Does The Bible Say About Sexless Marriage?
As society has changed, so has the understanding of the sanctity of marriage and exactly what it means. In modern life, many couples are entering into sexless marriages, which can be a tricky subject to navigate. So, what does the Bible say about sex within marriage?
Understandably, couples can find themselves entering into a marriage of a different kind, devoid of physical intimacy. The Bible provides many detailed passages about sex and marriage, and while it may seem complicated, there are some fundamental doctrines that can provide guidance on sexless marriages.
Firstly, the Bible speaks very clearly about the importance of sex in marriage. Husbands and wives are instructed to confess their physical and emotional love for each other in 1 Corinthians 7:3-4, which states: “The husband should fulfill his marital duty to his wife, and likewise the wife to her husband. The wife does not have authority over her own body but yields it to her husband. In the same way, the husband does not have authority over his own body but yields it to his wife.”
Essentially, this means that both husband and wife have an obligation to pursue physical intimacy, within the confines of marriage. While a couple can enter into a sexless marriage, it is not recommended according to Biblical principles. Moreover, the Bible speaks very clearly in Hebrews 13:4: “Let marriage be held in honour among all, and let the marriage bed be undefiled, for God will judge the sexually immoral and adulterous.”
Therefore, it is the duty of husband and wife to respect and nurture the marriage bed. The Bible is also clear that sexual acts should remain within the confines of marriage, as that is how God intended it to be.
It can be difficult for couples to navigate a sexless marriage, and it is important for them to seek help and guidance. While it is not what is intended in the eyes of God, it is important for couples to understand the possible consequences of a sexless marriage and to pursue counseling if necessary.
Many churches have counselors or marriage retreats where couples can gain insight into their unique situation and seek guidance. It can also be beneficial to seek advice from a reputable pastor or spiritual counselor who will be able to discuss the issue from a biblical perspective.
It is important to remember that God has given us guidance and principles to follow when entering a marriage, and it is important to honour and respect these boundaries. While a sexless marriage can be difficult, it is ultimately a decision that needs to be made between the couple, in consultation and with guidance from the Bible.
Healthy Communication In A Sexless Marriage
Amidst all the challenges of a sexless marriage, it is important to create an environment of open and honest communication. In order to build a strong foundation in a relationship, both parties need to feel understood and respected. Healthy communication, as highlighted in the bible, is key to this.
Ephesians 4:29 states: “Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths, but only such as is good for building up, as fits the occasion, that it may give grace to those who hear”. Often, couples can feel like they are stuck in a cycle of arguing, so it is important to also understand what healthy communication is, as communicated in the Bible.
Effective communication involves expressing your thoughts and feelings in a way that is respectful, yet clear. This will allow both people to feel heard, as well as allow for constructive dialogue that can lead to understanding and resolution. Furthermore, it is important to remember the importance of listening, which is the other side to effective communication.
Listening is about actively and deliberately being present in the moment and allowing your partner to express their feelings. When both parties feel understood, this can lead to a greater appreciation for each other’s perspectives as well as a shared understanding of the issue or situation. Therefore, it is essential in a sexless marriage.
The Bible gives clear instructions on how couples should communicate and interact; however, it can still be a difficult process to navigate. Instead of focusing on criticism and blame, couples should strive towards understanding each other and showing respect. Ultimately, the goal is to strengthen the marriage and focus on building fulfilment and contentment.
What Happens When Sex Is Reintroduced Into A Sexless Marriage
When a couple decides to reintroduce physical intimacy into their sexless marriage, it can be a difficult and complex process. Not only is there the potential for emotions to run high, but the fear of rejection or judgement can also be difficult to overcome.
Firstly, it is important for both parties to understand their respective feelings and expectations, and to establish a safe and trustful environment. This will allow for honest and meaningful dialogue, in order to work together towards a beneficial outcome.
The Bible speaks to this in 1 Corinthians 7:5, which states: “Do not deprive each other except perhaps by mutual consent and for a time, so that you may devote yourselves to prayer”. This implies that couples should approach physical intimacy within marriage with fairness and respect.
In addition, the importance of meaningful communication is key. Not only will it provide opportunities to discuss fears and expectations, but it allows couples to develop understanding and trust. This is something that is emphasised in the Bible, in Ephesians 5:28: “In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself”.
Another important element is to allow time for comfort, healing and growth. As with any relationship, trust needs to be established and it is important to take it one step at a time. This includes taking time for intimacy, allowing for time away from the bedroom, and just enjoying each other’s company. This is outlined in Proverbs 5:18-19: “Let your fountain be blessed, and rejoice in the wife of your youth, a lovely deer, a graceful doe. Let her breasts fill you at all times with delight; be intoxicated always in her love.”
Redefining The Meaning Of Intimacy In A Sexless Marriage
In a sexless marriage, couples can often feel a sense of disconnect and loneliness, which can lead to difficulty maintaining the relationship. Therefore, it is important to take the time to redefine what intimacy means, in a way that is respectful to both parties.
In the Bible, Song of Solomon 7:6-7 states: “How beautiful you are and how pleasing, O love, with your delights! Your stature is like a palm tree, and your breasts like its clusters. I said, ‘I will climb the palm tree; I will take hold of its fruit”. This emphasises the importance of physical intimacy in marriage, and provides encouragement to couples seeking to build or maintain physical closeness.
It is also helpful to remember that intimacy does not have to take the form of physical contact. Couples in sexless marriages can explore other intimate activities, such as spending time together and engaging in meaningful conversation. Lastly, it can be beneficial to remember that any physical contact should be consensual and respectful, in line with Bible teachings.
Navigating a sexless marriage can be an incredibly lonely and difficult journey. Therefore, it is important to seek help and guidance. Not only can support provide couples with emotional nourishment, but it can help to resolve any issues and develop a strong foundation to build on.
The Bible speaks to this in a very clear way in Proverbs 12:15: “The way of a fool is right in his own eyes, but a wise man listens to advice”. Not only does this signify the importance of seeking professional advice, but it also suggests that both parties should be open to constructive feedback and guidance from external sources.
In addition, when seeking help, remember to define what is important to you. This will ensure that you seek advice and guidance that is catered to you and your needs. Moreover, it can also be beneficial to remember the importance of prayer and seeking wisdom from God.
Ultimately, it is up to each couple to decide what is right for them, but seeking professional help can be invaluable in a difficult situation. It is also important to remember that when couples come together in a marriage, they are both called to give and receive love.
Conclusion
The Bible provides guidance and principles on how couples should approach physical intimacy in a marriage. While it is not recommended for couples to enter into a sexless marriage, it is necessary for them to understand the complex issues and to seek counseling for help. Men and women are both called to give and receive love, so it is important for couples to remember the importance of meaningful communication, respect and understanding when navigating a sexless marriage.
