The Old Testament
The Old Testament does not directly address the question of cohabiting before marriage. However, there are some passages that are worth considering in light of the topic. For instance, Leviticus 18:20 states, “You shall not lie carnally with your neighbor’s wife, to defile yourself with her” which is interpreted as to say that it is immoral to have sexual relations before marriage. Additionally, Leviticus 20:10-12 deals with a man who commits adultery by sleeping with a married woman, which is often seen as analogous to living together before marriage. Thus, many scholars argue that there is an implicit prohibition on living together before marriage in the Old Testament.
The New Testament
The New Testament is much clearer in its condemnation of living together before marriage. In 1 Corinthians 6:9-10, Paul writes, “Do you not know that the unrighteous will not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived: neither the sexually immoral, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor men who practice homosexuality, nor thieves, nor the greedy, nor drunkards, nor revilers, nor swindlers will inherit the kingdom of God.” Here, Paul is explicitly condemning sexual immorality, which has been interpreted by many to include living together before marriage. Additionally, Hebrews 13:4 states, “Let marriage be held in honor among all, and let the marriage bed be undefiled, for God will judge the sexually immoral and adulterous.” Here, the writer is again emphasizing the importance of marriage, which precludes living together before marriage.
The Impact of Cohabitation
Though the Bible does not directly address the issue of cohabitation, many experts agree that living together before marriage is not in line with the teachings of the Bible. This is because living together before marriage often leads to a decrease in marital commitment and an increase in rates of divorce.
Studies have shown that couples who cohabite before marriage are more than twice as likely to divorce than couples who do not cohabite before marriage. Additionally, the longer couples cohabite before marriage, the more likely they are to get divorced. This could be due to a decrease in commitment and a weakening of the relationship over time. Thus, it is clear that living together before marriage is not endorsed in the Bible and can have a negative impact on a marriage.
Moving Forward
Though many couples view living together before marriage as a way to prepare for marriage and strengthen their relationship, the Bible disagrees with this. Thus, it is important for couples who are interested in living together before marriage to give serious thought to the decision. Couples should consider the potential risks and equip themselves with the tools necessary to make a strong, long-term commitment to each other.
The Role of Religion
One way that couples can prepare for a long-term commitment to each other is to involve religion. Many couples who are interested in getting married experience a deepening of their relationship when they become actively involved in a religious community. Religious communities provide a sense of connection and support that couples cannot find anywhere else.
Additionally, religious communities also provide couples with a place to discuss their thoughts, feelings, and goals. Couples who are interested in living together before marriage often seek out advice from religious leaders. This can be invaluable in helping couples come to terms with the potential implications of their decision.
The Importance of Communication
Having meaningful conversations about why a couple wants to live together before marriage is also important. It is essential that couples are honest with each other about what they are hoping to gain from the experience, and to be sure that they are on the same page. Couples should also consider the potential risks associated with living together before marriage, and be sure to discuss them fully.
Finally, couples should also discuss how their decision to live together before marriage will affect their families and friends. This is especially important for couples who are religiously affiliated and those who come from traditional communities, as the decision to live together before marriage can be fraught with difficult conversations and emotions.
Financial Considerations
In addition to addressing the potential emotional and religious implications of living together before marriage, couples should also consider the practical and financial aspects of the decision. Couples should carefully consider the costs of living together, including rent, utilities, food, and other expenses that come with sharing a living space. It is also important to discuss the potential financial implications of marriage in the future, such as taxes, health insurance, and ownership of property.
Conclusion
The Bible has much to say on the subject of living together before marriage. While the Old Testament is not clear on the issue, the New Testament is explicit in its condemnation of living together before marriage. Moreover, studies have shown that living together before marriage often leads to a decrease in marital commitment and an increase in rates of divorce. For these reasons, it is important for couples to give serious thought to their decision to live together before marriage, involve religion, and discuss the potential risks and costs associated with the decision.
