Different individuals may view the nature of friendship in various ways, but what does the Bible have to say about it? According to the biblical perspective, friendship is seen as a powerful force – it is an intimate relationship with another person that is beneficial, sustainable, and God-honoring. This article will discuss some biblical principles surrounding friendship and dive into deeper realities like the importance of truth, fulfilling obligations and roles, and devoted love.
When it comes to friendship, the Bible offers timeless wisdom on how to cultivate such relationships. Proverbs 18:24, for example, explains that “a man of many companions may come to ruin, but there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother.” This emphasizes the significance of having genuine, quality friendships, rather than simply surrounding oneself with a lot of acquaintances. Ecclesiastes 4:10 adds that, “two are better than one… if they fall, one will lift up his companion.” In other words, having advice from a partner or confidant can be a powerful resource for support. Furthermore, Proverbs 27:17 conveys that “iron sharpens iron,” referring to the teaching and learning that naturally takes place in a friendship when each person grows closer to God together.
Truthfulness is another key component of a healthy friendship. Proverbs 27:6 states that “faithful are the wounds of a friend, but the kisses of an enemy are deceitful.” In other words, a true friend is willing to open up and speak honestly to one another, despite the possibility of hurtful feelings. Additionally, sharing scripture and teaching each other is a positive way to become better friends by grounding truth and advice within biblical principles.
It is also important to consider the roles and responsibilities of a friend. Proverbs 17:17 explains ”a friend loves at all times,” while Philippians 2:3-4 encourages friends to “do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility, value others above yourself.” Practically, this means that friends should not be motivated by selfish desires, but rather by loyalty and kindness. Consequently, friends should dedicate themselves to loving their friends unconditionally and selflessly, listening to their issues, providing validation and support, and willing to sacrifice for each other.
Forgiveness in Friendship
One of the most important parts of a friendship is forgiveness. Ephesians 4:32 reminds us that we should “be kind and compassionate to one another, forgive each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.” This kindness and compassion extends beyond feeling sympathy for people, but rather calling for sincere empathy and understanding for one another. Likewise, Romans 12:18 urges believers to “live in harmony” and to “ never be lacking in zeal, but keep your spiritual fervor, serving the Lord.” This means that while pursuing paths of goodness and righteousness, friends should strive to operate in unity. As a result, even through the inevitable quarrels and frustrations that come with any kind of friendship, ultimately, there will still be an expectation of mutual respect and understanding.
God’s Will in Friendship
Ultimately, God’s will applies to all of our relationships, including friendships. Colossians 3:14 explains that “above all, clothe yourselves with love, which binds us all together in perfect harmony.” This is a powerful reminder that, above all, love should be the foundation for a friendship – either in its growth and maintenance, or lack thereof. Additionally, 1 Thessalonians 5:11 urges believers “to encourage one another and build each other up.” All of these pieces of Scripture are powerful reminders that God wants us to take our friendships seriously and is aware of how powerfully such relationships shape us.
The Rewards of a God-Honoring Friendship
In an effort to honor God, a believer’s friendship should be characterized by patience, trust, and love. Those who choose to live out their friendships with a foundation in God’s Word will be rewarded greatly. Proverbs 17:9 states that “he who covers over an offense promotes love,” while Proverbs 17:17 adds that “a friend loves at all times.” Furthermore, Proverbs 18:24 reiterates that a close companion is priceless and Acts 20:35 attests that “it is more blessed to give than to receive.” All of these scriptural encouragements provide peace and reassurance that those who walk with God will experience blessings in abundance.
Friendship and Self-Care
When it comes to cultivating friendships, it’s important to remember to take care of oneself as well. It is not selfish to prioritize self-care and to set boundaries in order to maintain a healthy balance between work and submission to a loved one. Ultimately, a friendship should bring joy and life, not a sense of obligation and unhappiness. Matthew 6:33 encourages that “seeking first his kingdom and his righteousness,” should be the priority in all aspects of life, including relationships. At times, a friend may not understand or agree with decisions that are based on this scripture, but ultimately they must accept the decision and still love you.
Differing Perspectives in Friendship
At times, two friends might perceive their bond differently. Although the Bible encourages altruism and mutual understanding in friendships, both parties still need to make an effort to understand one another’s perspectives and preferences. In Matthew 7:12, it is said that “in everything, do to others what you would have them do to you.” This is known as the “Golden Rule” and serves as a reminder to not only practice kind actions with our friends, but to also respect their ideas, preferences, and values without judgement or criticism.
Trust in Friendship
One of the most important factors in a friendship is trust. Ecclesiastes 4:12 states “though one may be overpowered, two can defend themselves. A cord of three strands is not quickly broken,” implying that when two friends both place their trust and faith in God, that bond is not going to easily be broken. Additionally, Proverbs 16:7 forces us to refocus our lives on God and trusting that he will take care of us, even in times of desperation. For example, if a friend has difficulties trusting someone, both people must look to God for the ability to trust in one another.
Challenge and Growth in Friendship
A series of challenges may arise throughout a friendship, but at the same time, these moments serve as opportunities for growth. Proverbs 14:6 notes that “a scoffer seeks wisdom in vain,” reminding believers that wisdom is not only necessary in friendship, but that it also needs to be sought after continually. Because new challenges and issues will arise, both friends must remain steadfast in their pursuit of an improved relationship.
Confrontation and Conflict
Face-to-face confrontation can be difficult, but it is often necessary in order to resolve issues in a friendship. Proverbs 15:1 states that “a soft answer turns away wrath,” meaning that how one chooses to confront a friend can mean the difference between worsening or resolving an issue. Additionally, James 3:18 adds that “the fruit of righteousness is sown in peace for those who make peace,” stressing the importance of a peaceful approach to confrontation and issues in a friendship.
Support and Commitment
Friendships require not only a commitment from both parties, but also the dedication from both parties in maintaining it. 1 Corinthians 15:58 conveys that “be steadfast, be immovable, always abounding in the work of the Lord, knowing that in the Lord your labor is not in vain,” emphasizing that if God is the center of a friendship, then one’s efforts in cultivating such a relationship will not go to waste. Thus, it is important to act out of the kindness, patience, and love that God desires of His followers.
Warning Signs of a Toxic Friendship
Unfortunately, toxic friendships can often occur. A lack of accountability, jealousy, control, and manipulation are all warning signs of unhealthy relationships that should not be allowed to continue. The Bible warns against this in 2 Timothy 3: 1-4 which says “But mark this: There will be terrible times in the last days. People will be lovers of themselves, lovers of money, boastful, proud, abusive, disobedient to their parents, ungrateful, unholy, without love, unforgiving, slanderous, without self-control, brutal, not lovers of the good.” If any of these qualities characterize a friendship, the Bible encourages a prayerful examination and, at times, the end of said relationship in order to remain true to Scriptures.
