It can be difficult to navigate a breakup while maintaining the Christian faith, but the Bible can provide the tools to approach a relationship with grace and strength. The Bible tells us God desires to bring healing and reconciliation to relationships, and it offers guidance on how to do that. Here’s a look at what the Bible has to say about ex-relationships.
The Bible is clear that individuals should honor and respect one another, no matter the current relationship status. God designed relational commitment and fidelity with marriage between a man and a woman, but He desires that each individual would demonstrate respect and true love through their words and actions. In Colossians 4:6, we see that individuals should “let your conversation be always full of grace”. Ephesians 4:29 echoes this sentiment, emphasizing the importance of speaking only words that build up and edify. Respectful communication is essential in post-relationship communication, and the Bible reinforces that it is an act of love and honor.
We also see in the Bible that forgiveness is key. God models forgiveness while requiring that we follow His example. In Matthew 18:21-22, Jesus tells the story of a slave who owed the king an insurmountable debt. The king forgives the entire debt and sends the slave away, prompting the slave to turn around and mistreat a fellow slave. This instance serves as a warning for us to act as God does—with grace and forgiveness. On a practical level, this means accepting responsibility for our own actions and asking forgiveness of one another.
Scripture also shows God’s mercy when it comes to reconciling humans with one another. 2 Corinthians 5:18-20 encourages Christians to “be reconciled to God” and through that passageway we can wholeheartedly pursue reconciliation with others. In other words, reconciliation begins with God, offering us an abundance of grace and mercy. Once we tap into God’s grace, we can extend that same grace to our former loved ones.
The Bible presents us with a great model of how to approach post-relationships: grace, mercy, love, and respect. It reinforces that each individual has a responsibility to communicate honorably and with love, seek forgiveness and extend humility. Ultimately, no relationship between two imperfect people will ever be perfect, but the Bible provides tools that we can use to approach fractured relationships with wisdom and strength.
God’s Will for Relationship Affects Post Break-up Communication
God desires that we have loving relationships with our partners and one another. In John 15:12-14, Jesus tells us “greater love has no one than this, that someone lay down his life for his friends”. This presence of love and respect amidst our closest relationships build a strong foundation. When these relationships have dissapated, the Bible encourages us to shift our baseline of communication and not be drawn into drama nor hurtful words. 1 Corinthians 13:4-5 encourages individuals to be patient, kind, and not envious in communication to those who have hurt us.
The Bible also encourages us to love our enemies. This means that even if someone has hurt us, we can still strive to love them in a beyond-natural way. Romans 5:6-8 reminds us that God showed us His love in an ultimate way—even after our sin against Him—and encourages us to do the same. This means extending mercy and meeting an ex-partner with kindness and humility.
The Bible encourages us to approach relationships and communication, including with our former loved ones, in an honorable way. This requires tact and the willingness to be humble, patient and forgiving. If individuals approach communication with this understanding and a desire to honor God, it is possible to provide healing to a broken relationship.
Practically Applying Biblical Teachings
The Bible offers rich guidance on our relationships and communication. To practically apply these teachings in post-relationship communication, individuals must be willing to be vulnerable and honest. If someone has wronged us, we should approach them humbly and graciously and admit our own faults and failings as well. If someone has communicated hurtfully, we should forgive and demonstrate love in our response without diminishing the strain in the relationship. Finally, we should reckon with any residual pain and recognize what happens between two individuals will almost never be something perfect.
In the event that communication does not bring healing and reconciliation, sometimes it is best to take time apart and forgive the other person. 1 Timothy 2:3-4 reinforces the importance of being patient and respectful when providing healing, and emphasizing the importance of understanding and forgiveness. We should give time for the healing process to take place and pray for the person who has hurt us.
Criteria to Establish Healthy Communication Post Break-Up
Ultimately, building a secure and healthy relationship requires individuals to follow the biblical principles of communication and approach their relationships with respect, humility and love. To take the bible’s guidance a step further, individuals need to set boundaries and criteria on how to communicate with an ex-partner post break-up. This means defining expectations and limits on communication, setting expectations on behavior within the relationship, and agreeing to handle conflicts in a civil manner.
In addition to setting expectations, it is important to determine what methods of communication are best. All individuals should agree to communicate respectfully throughout the exchange, no matter the outcome. The use of technology can be difficult to navigate, so it is recommended to avoid texting or e-mailing words that may be taken in an offensive way. Furthermore, individuals should utilize face-to-face contact when possible, as this type of communication is often preferred by the partners.
It is also beneficial to agree to what is considered off-limits when having conversations with an ex-partner. Boundaries should be established and adhered to, particularly surrounding topics or issues that are emotionally charged. Additionally, individuals should be sure to listen to one another respectfully and non-judgementally, even when it is difficult to agree. This can help both partners feel respected and valued.
Preparing For A Healthy Future Relationship
Ex-relationships can certainly be difficult to maneuver, but approaching them with the tools that the Bible provides can help promote healing and mutual understanding. In the event that reconciliation does not take place, the Bible encourages us to forgive and move forward. We can use our experiences from our ex-relationships to learn from and ensure that our future relationships will be built on strong foundations.
The Bible encourages individuals to set healthy boundaries and communicate constructively with their former partners. As a result, we can learn valuable lessons from each relationship and be better prepared to make healthy relationship choices in the future. This includes using the biblical teachings to determine the outcome of a relationship and to establish expectations around communication and behavior within a relationship.
Overall, the Bible helps us understand that our relationships should be grounded in respect, humility, and unconditional love. If a breakup occurs, we can use the guidance of the Bible to navigate the relationship with grace and wisdom. Taking the time to learn from our experiences and grow from them can help ensure that we make healthier relationship choices in the future.
Understanding God’s Heart For Our Relationships
The bible presents us with a higher calling for our relationships—God’s heart for us and for our former partners. He calls us to love Him above all else and to love one another as ourselves. We can use this guidance as a compass for our relationships, especially when navigating post-relationship communication. In Malachi 2:16, we are reminded that the Lord takes loyalty and covenant seriously, reminding us that all of our relationships bear the imprint of a divine call. We can use this call to inform how we respect and treat our former partners.
In addition, we can remember that God is a role model of grace and mercy. He was willing to forgive us despite our sin against Him, and He calls us to do the same. Ephesians 4:32 instructs us to “be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you.” This demonstrates that it is necessary to strive to forgive one another, allowing God’s love to cleanse us and serve as our blueprint for advancing relationships and communication post-breakup.
Finally, Proverbs 19:11 encourges us to also forgive our ex-partner: “good sense makes one slow to anger, and it is his glory to overlook an offense”. We can use this scripture to humbly overlook a fault and strive to reconcile in a Spirit-filled way. And while this can be difficult, we can start by trusting in the promises of God.
Conclusion of Embracing God’s Guidance
The bible offers a comprehensive guide for strengthening and rebuilding post-relationships. We are encouraged to love one another sacrificially and release the need for perfection. Furthermore, we need to prioritize understanding and grace, creating an environment of mutual respect and love. As individuals embrace the teachings of the Bible and strive to mend their relationships, they can continue to use the gift of faith as a powerful guide.
