The Bible does not condone marital separation, let alone divorce. In the eyes of God, marriage should be seen as a lifelong commitment and a life-long bond between a man and a woman. On the basis of the Bible, divorce and separation should not even be considered, but in some that may be impossible.
Most ancient Greek and Hebrew societies did not approve of divorce for any reason, due to the overwhelming authority granted to men in these societies. A man was allowed to divorce his wife under strict conditions as outlined in the Old Testament. This was to protect the man’s property, possessions and rights, which women in these societies did not possess.
God speaks to the relationship between marriage partners in Mark 10:2-9. He emphatically says that marriage should be a union of one man and one woman, and that a man should not separate what God has joined together. Further, Deuteronomy 24:1-4 sets out that no one should ever break up an existing marriage between a man and a woman.
According to the Bible, if someone chooses to separate from their partner for any reason, reconciliation should be the goal, rather than divorce. In some cases, it may be necessary to temporarily separate from one’s spouse, and this should be done in a way that encourages the couple to seek reconciliation and the union to be maintained.
It is not just the Old Testament that speaks to this issue, but it is also to be found in the New Testament. 1 Corinthians 7: 10-16, for example, states that if a separation must take place, it should be done in a way that allows the couple to maintain their commitment to each other and make every effort to reconcile. No matter what the reason for separation and divorce may be, the duty of both parties is to maintain a committed relationship in the hopes of being reconciled.
God’s view on divorce and separation is not just rooted in legal or even moral issues; it is projected in the framework of faith and hope. God is hope and he encourages people to be committed to each other, no matter what their differences may be. If a marriage is suffering, people should be patient, gentle and stable as they work to resolve their issues. Praying for peace and for the other person is always recommended.
God is infinite love and mercy and offers his guidance on marriage through his Word–The Bible. He pleads with married couples to remain together, to seek reconciliation and to turn to Him for guidance in any and all matters. The society in which we live reflects the state of our current culture, but if marriage is to be saved and blessed, couples must turn to God’s Word and seek His guidance.
Conflict Management
It is important to remember that estranged spouses have a moral and spiritual responsibility to manage conflict in a responsible way. Reconciliation is not just possible, but is also required. When entering into a difficult situation and trying to negotiate a mutually beneficial resolution, competent and appropriate conflict management and problem solving techniques are essential.
When an estranged couple is still living in the same home, such as in the case of an extended marriage, they must find ways to oppose, cooperate, or both oppose and cooperate during a separation. Conflict resolution is a key factor in determining the course of the marriage and its reconciliation. Disagreements need to be addressed, and worked through in a constructive manner.
It is important to remember that the ultimate goal in any conflict should be to find a positive solution for both parties. Conflict should not be seen as a battle to win, but as an opportunity to negotiate a compromise, or even a compromise. Both parties must be willing to compromise, and all negotiations should be made with the best interests of both parties in mind.
It is recommended that all conflicts be resolved through dialogue and mediation as opposed to court-related processes. The process of reconciliation is much more strongly attained when both parties come together and try to work through their differences in a fair and objective manner.
Divorce
Divorce should be seen as the last resort for married couples. The Bible clearly states that if a couple does decide to divorce, both parties must go through a lengthy process with the intention of reconciling. Divorce is a legal process, and as such should be used as a last resort if all other methods of reconciliation have failed.
If both parties have decided to part ways, the Bible encourages a community-based approach to the situation. In other words, family, friends, and faith leaders should come together to help the couple resolve their differences and hopefully reconcile.
Faith communities can provide a safe and supportive environment in which both individuals can express their grievances and work towards resolution. This is especially true if reconciliation is seen as a likely outcome of the process. By addressing emotional pain, hurt and mistrust within a faith based context, this partnership can be a stepping stone to coming back together again.
The Bible encourages couples to seek guidance from the community, and to use any resources available to them in an effort to reconcile the marriage. Divorce can often be traumatic for both parties, but the faithful are encouraged to never give up hope of coming back together. Divorce should be seen as an absolute last resort, and that all efforts should be made to reconcile.
Restoration
Restoration of a marriage is a biblical ideal, and it is not impossible. While there may be hurt, pain and mistrust between married couples, it is possible for reconciliation to take place if both parties are committed to building a better and stronger relationship. The Bible offers many examples of couples who, through prayer, faith and commitment, were able to persevere in their marriages and eventually reconcile.
God’s Word looks upon reconciliation in a very favourable way. Reading scriptures, such as Galatians 5:22-26, will help deepen the understanding of marriage restoration, and the spiritual gifts of peace and patience that come with it. Praying together and reading scriptures will bring couples closer together, and will open up the possibility of reconciliation.
It is also important to recognize that couples can achieve marriage restoration on their own, as long as they have the will and commitment to make it work. Communicating needs and expectations, working through emotions, and discovering new ways to resolve conflicts are critical components to any marriage restoration process.
In any situation, hope and faith should be the companions of an estranged couple as they contemplate marriage restoration. It takes time and perseverance to repair a broken marriage, but with hope and faith, it is possible to rebuild a broken relationship and have a marriage that is even stronger than it was before.
Forgiveness
In a marriage restoration process, forgiveness should be given and received. This is one of the most difficult things to do in marriage, but it is essential for any reconciliation process to take place. To forgive, means to relinquish any feelings of resentment or bitterness towards the other person and offering them mercy. This will pave the way for understanding and eventually reconciliation.
It is important to remember that by forgiving, married couples will be able to move forward and restore their relationship. In Luke 6:37, Jesus said, “Pardon those who wrong you; be merciful and compassionate as God is in Christ.” It takes courage to forgive, and it is a journey that involves not just one’s spouse but also one’s own heart.
The Bible is full of guidance and instruction on marriage, divorce, reconciliation and restoration. It is clear that God’s desire is for married couples to remain committed to each other, to seek reconciliation when trouble arises, and to work towards a better and stronger version of themselves. All of this is possible through prayer, faith, patience and a commitment to the marriage.
Support
It is also important for married couples to seek and find resources available to them that will provide physical, emotional, and spiritual support. The stories and testimonies of those who have restored their marriages can be an invaluable source of encouragement and knowledge for couples embarking on the same journey.
By seeking support and wise counsel from others, especially those who have been through the same struggles or have assisted in reconciliation and restoration, a couple can lean on the experiences of those within their community. These experiences will often provide insight, comfort and assurance that the marriage can be restored.
Moreover, married couples should take advantage of resources such as marriage retreats, seminars, counseling sessions, books and online services. These all offer support and guidance in the marriage restoration process. In addition, the provision of spiritual guidance and direction from a qualified faith leader is also recommended.
No matter the situation, restoration is not an impossible goal. Effort, meditation and dedication are necessary, but with the joys of a restored marriage, comes the blessing and grace of a renewed relationship. Indeed, the Bible is full of examples of marriage restoration processes and these serve to illustrate the potential of reconciliation and God’s love.
Conclusion
The Bible has many declarations and instructions on the subject of marriage, divorce and separation. It is clear that the Biblical view on divorce and separation is that they should always be seen as a last resort, after every other avenue has been explored. If a separation must take place, couples should make every effort to reconcile. Restoring a marriage is not an impossible task, with God’s help, patience, and commitment, any marriage can be restored.
