Fatherhood is an important role in any society, and is celebrated in numerous cultures around the world. But what does the Bible say about fatherhood? Well, there are many verses throughout the Bible that give instructions on how fathers should interact with their families, and many examples of fathers in the Bible who exemplify faithfulness and exert strong influence in their home. As Christian fathers, it’s important to look to scripture for correction and encouragement in leading our families.
One of the key components of fatherhood, according to scripture, is unconditional love: “Train up a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not depart from it” (Proverbs 22:6). This verse instructs fathers to relentlessly love and lead their children, even when their perspectives and desires differ. Unconditional love transcends culture, physical affection, and verbal and monetary support. Fathers must love their families regardless of their imperfections and mistakes, enabling them to learn and grow.
It is also a father’s responsibility to be the spiritual leader of the home. In Deuteronomy 6:6, God implores fathers to lead their families in the instruction of scripture: “These commandments that I give you today are to be upon your hearts. Impress them on your children. Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up.” Fathers should ensure that their family is thriving spiritually, and that their children are following the values which God holds dear.
Moreover, God has commanded fathers to be wise, patient, and loving. In Colossians 3:21 we are encouraged to be fathers of integrity:“ Fathers, do not embitter your children, or they will become discouraged.” Fathers should be present and lead with an unwavering spirit of guidance and example. Fathers should always strive to lead their families best and live according to the example of Jesus: gracious, humble, and focused on others.
In conclusion, the Bible places a huge emphasis on the role of a father in a family. Fathers should be unconditional loving, spiritual examples, and wise leaders. While it may not always be easy, the Christian father must always strive to fulfill God’s call in this most important role.
Expectations
Though the expectations fathers have of their children can be difficult, they are a necessary part of raising a responsible adult. Proverbs 22:15 implores fathers to “Foolishness is bound up in the heart of a child; The rod of discipline will remove it far from him.” This is an incredibly difficult notion for parents, especially in the modern landscape. Fathers should however strive to have clear-cut expectations of diminishing behavior that is not beneficial for the family, and also reward exemplary behavior. This can also include household responsibilities such as chores, respect towards authority, community service, and healthy friendships.
Fathers should also have expectations for their own actions; Scripture advises fathers to provide for their families, even in the midst of difficut times: “But if anyone does not provide for his own, and especially for those of his household, he has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever” (I Timothy 5:8). Fathers should strive to find wisdom in their financial decisions in order to provide their families a hopeful future.
Strong fathers, while demonstrating tough love, must also foster an environment of security. Though it is not an easy task to accept that all expectations laid out won’t be met exactly right away, or even in the long run, fathers should remember that creating a safe, secure home should be an ultimate goal. This doesn’t mean that kids get off the hook, but the time taken to ensure that confidence and trust is established will prove to be a successful parenting style.
Discipline
When dealing with difficult children, fathers should: “Discipline your son, and he will give you peace; he will bring delight to your soul,” (Proverbs 29:17). Discipline, when necessary, should grow out of genuine love and a desire to “train up [a] child” (Proverbs 22:6). Fathers should combine discipline and instruction, teaching children why such discipline is necessary as opposed to merely punishing for bad behavior.
Fathers should also take some space in order to cultivate wise and calm command when disciplining their children. When emotions are high and outbursts are more likely, it is paramount for the father to take a few minutes in order to assess the situation, and discern when it would best to address the issue – usually after the emotions have simmered down.
Firmer types of discipline, such as spanking, should be used sparingly and should be in obedience to scripture. Fathers should never use harsh words, or use physical discipline out of anger. Lastly, reinforcement of rules and regulations should be clear, as well as consistent. If a father begins to be too lenient and erratic with discipline, a sense chaos will surely result.
Encouragement
It is important for fathers to remember that in their roles as parent, they are to offer unconditional encouragement and support. Fathers should encourage their children to excel in things they do well. This should be done both within the home, making sure that kids feel appreciated, and also in the public sphere, leveraging skills that the father can perceive his children possess. Furthermore, fathers should be sure to foster a sense of accomplishment and confidence within their children. It should be a father’s duty to build up his children whenever possible, ensuring that children receive validation for their thoughts and actions.
Not only should fathers encourage their children to do well, but they should also learn to listen and be present for difficult conversations. Issues such as peer pressure, relationship troubles, learning disabilities, and more should be discussed in the home, assured that children know that they are in a safe, supportive space. Strong fathers show that they are caring and attentive, allowing children to make mistakes, but also validating the importance of learning form those heartaches.
Support Network
In order to do their best as fathers, it helps to build a support network. Fathers should reach out to other fathers and learn from both the mistakes and successes of their peers. This could include mentors, heavenly prayer partners, Sunday school teachers, and more. Fathers should also strive to build a safety net of support by making sure that they do not neglect their physical and emotional well-being. Getting adequate sleep, exercise and nutrition, along with establishing a strong prayer life is essential for fathers to be their best in leading their households.
Moreover, fathers should also be sure to enlist help when needed. Sharing parenting responsibilities with your spouse and other family members, or even delegating non-primary duties to outside help often allows families to flourish. Fathers should recognize their needs for respite, and make sure that those needs are met to not only create a more peaceful home, but to also ensure that fathers are living up to the challenges which God has presented.
Presence
Having a physical and emotional presence in the home is another important aspect of fatherhood. It is not enough to merely provide financially, as fathers should also make sure that they are present in the home – even when their children are unruly. Growing up without a father, or with an absent father, can have drastic impacts on the emotional, physical, and cognitive development of children. Being in the home, physically, shows your children that you take their feelings, needs, and concerns seriously.
Moreover, it is paramount for fathers to strive to make their presence known through meaningful conversation and physical engagement. This could include quality conversation over dinner, playing together in the backyard, or working on any household task together, such as car repairs. Any quality time spent with children result to them feeling seen, secure and loved.
Fathers should also recognize the power of their presence in any room. Just being present with your family demonstrates love and commitment and gives children a sense of security and trust. As a father and the spiritual leader of the home, your presence can bring light and peace to even the tensest situation.
