Submit to Your Wife
The Bible has a lot to say about what it means to be a husband in a marriage. According to scripture, a man’s duty is to provide for and protect his wife, while exerting his God-given leadership within their marriage and over their family.
Ephesians 5:22-33 speaks of a husband’s responsibility to his wife. In this scripture, Paul references the relationship between Christ and his church, explaining that just as Christ demonstrates sacrificial and unconditional love for his church, so a husband should do for his wife. Paul goes on to state that a husband should respect and honour his wife, consider her feelings, desires, and needs– and submit to her as if it were to the Lord.
Another duty of husbands is to protect their wives. Proverbs 5:15-19 tells men to guard their hearts and protect the marriage relationship. In 1 Timothy 5:8 it goes on to urge husbands to protect their wives physically. Men are called to treat and care for their wives as precious vessels, an honorable duty.
Lead and Provide
A husband’s most important role is to lead his wife, placing a priority on obeying God and on their spiritual well-being. Ephesians 5:23 encourages husbands to lead and lay down their lives, which means they should give themselves fully to the wife they love– in order to serve and help her reach her highest potential, especially in spiritual matters.
Another duty of husbands described in the Bible is to provide for their wives and family. 1 Timothy 5:4 summarizes that a husband is the financial provider for his family, and should work hard in order to meet the needs of his family and of his own household.
Fulfilling a Vow
In Malachi 2:14, scripture tells men that marriage is for life. This means that husbands should put effort into their marriage relationship, working on its success and investing their time and energy in its growth. That being said, Proverbs 5:18-19 encourages them to also regularly give themselves over to their wives. It also reminds men to be faithful to the wife they vowed to love and cleave to, thereby fulfilling the promises they made before God and man.
The Power of Kindness
Husbands are reminded in Colossians 3:19 to be gentle and kind towards their wives, while offering understanding and patience. The Bible also encourages men to express their love physically and verbally. In 1 Peter 3:7, a husband is instructed to “live with your wife in an understanding way, showing her honor.” In other words, a man should show respect and love for his wife with every word and action.
Finally, it is important to remember that in making a vow before God to love our wives faithfully and provide for them, we are taking on a huge responsibility. But it also brings great rewards! We are called to serve our wives as an important ministry, an expression of the love a husband is to have for his wife– that of Christ for his church.
Feed and Nurture
Husbands are urged to feed and nourish their wives spiritually, by equipping them with the character and knowledge that will help them follow the Lord. Ephesians 5:29 urges men to be constantly giving attention to the emotional and spiritual needs of their wives, because love is much more than physical acts– it is a way of life.
Proverbs 31:11-12 speaks about the excellent wife and reveals that her husband’s heart trusts her. Men are encouraged to look at the Proverb 31 woman as an example and strive to have the same kind of relationship with their wives. Such a relationship is not one built on power or dominance, but on love and mutual respect.
Find Fulfillment
Although the Bible teaches that a husband’s role is to be the spiritual leader of his family, it also encourages men to find fulfillment in the marriage relationship. Ephesians 5:28 references a husband’s pleasure of seeing his wife blossom into a godly woman who loves and trusts him.
Colossians 3:18-19 speaks of the relationship between a husband and wife as a mutual submission, with each partner serving and supporting one another. This should be done just as Christ, who gave his life for his church, does for each one of us, with compassion and respect.
Live by Faith
Ultimately, the most important task of a husband, even more important than providing financially or protecting his wife, is to bring her closer to God. Many husbands take great comfort in the words of 1 Peter 3:7, which encourages men to live with their wives in a due reverence for Christ by faith. This means that a husband is to be a spiritual leader for his family, praying with and for them, as well as for their home.
Demonstrate Appreciation
Lastly, husbands should always show appreciation for their wives and the work they do each day. According to Proverbs 31:28, a husband should give his wife the recognition she deserves, praising her qualities and accomplishments.
The Bible is clear about what it takes to be a good husband– and this includes far more than just providing for material needs. Displaying wisdom and great love for his wife, a husband should lead and provide, guard and nurture his wife. But the most important duty for a husband is to fulfill the vow he made before God and man, to keep that promise of love and faithfulness, and to bring his wife to a knowledge of the Lord’s grace.
